📄 Transcript
I cannot believe I am wasting a Saturday. A Saturday when I can be out with Jasmine playing and having fun. One day in a week when I'm supposed to have a day off and I gotta spend my Saturday in here in the studio auditioning people for a talent show for Virginia Today. I can't believe this. Why do I have to be doing this? Hey, if the sponsors want it and they want to show off the talent for the community, guess what? It's going to happen. One day at a time. Let's just get this stupid audition done and out of the way. Who's first? Jeez. Who's first? Harry. Henry. Henry. Henry. Aloysius. Aloysius Pendergast. Henry Aloysius Pendergast? First off, who names their kid Aloysius? I guess his mother did. You're smart. Let me tell you. Who is this? Henry Aloysius Pendergast? anyway. Who is that? Well, believe it or not, you know him better as Homeless Hank. Homeless Hank? You mean to tell me Homeless Hank is coming in? Wait a minute. Homeless Hank's middle name is Aloysius? That's, oh wow. Well, that's what it says here. Oh my goodness. Well, what in the world is he going to be doing as a talent? Well, as he was talking And to me, he said he was going to try and do Shakespeare. You have got to be kidding. Homeless Hank is going to do Shakespeare. Oh, this is going to be something. Oh, bring him on. Let's see this. This is going to be great. I tell you. Give him a chance. He might really surprise you. Yeah, he'll probably surprise me, all right. Come on. Come on in, Homeless Hank. Let's get this show on the road. Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him, Horatio, a fellow of infinite jest, a most excellent fancy. He's borne me on his back a thousand times, and yet now? How abhorred in my imagination he is. Hank, that was very, very impressive, wasn't it, Pastor Jay? I impressed I impressed Congratulations Hank You are definitely in the show Phew I going to tell you something Now that shocked me. If this is what we got to come, this is going to be a pretty impressive show. Next! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, hey! Oh, hey! Hey! Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, fella. I'm sorry. You're just too loud. We can't have you. I'm sorry. Fine. I didn't want to be in your old town contest anyway. Rock on! I can't take this much more! Oh, come on. It hasn't been that long. It's been four days! Oh, come on, Pastor Jay. It's only been 40 minutes. Well, it feels like four days. Well, to you, you know, anything feels like a long time. You need to just relax and let's see what the next show at. Come on. The next one? We got more of this? Oh, my goodness. I can't handle it. I can't do this. Who's next? We have a pretty good one coming on. Oh, great. It's a singer. Oh, good. Here's one. Okay. It's an opera singer. Oh, no. Oh, no. No. No. What? Where did Pastor Jay go? Pastor Jay! I'm over here on the stage. What are you doing over there? Well, somebody's got to save this show, so Jasmine's going to audition. Wait till you see this. Speak. Speak, Jasmine. Here, here, here. Sit up and speak. Speak, Jasmine. Speak. Speak. Speak. Come on, Jasmine. Jasmine speak? Jasmine speak? She doesn't have nothing good to say. So she knows that adage that if you've got nothing good to say, don't say nothing at all. So she's not going to say nothing. Okay, here, let's try this. Sit, sit Jasmine. Sit, sit Jasmine. Jasmine, sit. Sit Jasmine. Here Jasmine. Jasmine, sit. Jasmine, sit. Sit Jasmine. Jasmine, sit. Here, sit Jasmine. Well she not tired so she doesn want to sit Okay okay okay I tell you what Oh get out of here Hey she did it Is that good enough No Forget it. Boy, I mean, what are we going to do? We got a great talent show. All we got is homeless hands. Be sure to win. Well, I don't know what we're going to do. What are you going to do? Hey, what do you mean what am I going to do? I ain't doing nothing. I ain't, no, nothing, nothing. What do you mean nothing? You've got to do something. Everybody's got talent. I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what. Sing for me. I don't sing. I mean, come on, get real. Oh, everybody can sing. Look, everybody can sing. Hey, when I sing the dog's towel. Well, maybe they sing with you. Maybe that would be good. I don't know. But anyway, everybody can sing. It's just making a joyful noise under the Lord. That's what they say. Here, try this. Just do it like this. It's a vocal exercise. Everybody does it here. Do, re, mi, fa, sol, la, ti, to. Try that. All right. Do, re, mi, fa, sol, la, ti, to. Okay, that was a mighty good try. Very impressive, wasn't it? Yeah, that was something. Well, I'll tell you what. I got a brainstorm. Use it. You're not going to use it. I got a brainstorm. I got a brainstorm. I know how we're going to use you. You'll work with me. We got this. It's going to work out. Just trust me. Trust me. We may even win this whole thing. Trust me. We're going to make this work. Yeah, sure. Welcome back to Virginia Today. And you are watching our community talent contest. Coming up next is the host of Virginia Today, Pastor Jay. And with him is director of Virginia Today, Betty Jones. And they're going to sing a special song. So let's take it to them now. Amazing Grace How sweet the sound God saved a wretch like me Like me I once was lost but now I found I was blind, but now I'm found. But now I see. I hit, I see it coming. See? I told you when I sing, even the dogs chime in. Welcome back to Virginia Today. And it is now time. The time you've been waiting for. Your votes have been tallied. And we have the winner. And the winner of the first annual Virginia Today Talent Contest is Henry Aloysius Pendergast You like me You really, really like me Sometimes life is a little heavy Sometimes life Life's a little hard to bear. Feel like I'm all alone. Oh, but I'm no one who really cares. So one day at a time, no matter what's in my way. I'm not giving us for it, no matter what others say. With the Lord at my side, I'm never alone. I'm destined to win, so step by step I'll take it One day at a time One day at a time One day at a time One day at a time One day at a time