Transcript: Christian Motivation: Earn Respect Without Demanding It

Namaskar, Namaste, Good morning and good evening my dear friends. A warm welcome to one and all of you and want to thank you that once again you have made efforts to stay in touch with us and thank you that you are listening to this video. It's only going to help you and benefit you. In fact, I benefit nothing but then it gives me a lot of pleasure when people watch and they comment and they say, you know, good or bad, it's okay for us, no problem. We welcome even negative comments and feedback, how we can improve the quality of our content and what more we could do to serve the society and the mankind. I would be really, really, you know, excited to hear back from you. Otherwise, the necessity of this session is just one motive. We are just having one objective. We want to build this society as overcomers. Overcomers of the problems, the issues, the troubles, the unforeseen events, the unpredicted events, unprecedented events, unfortunate events, how could we overcome for which we got to be very strong emotionally, we got to be well prepared, we got to plan many things. You know, you know, eight out of ten things can could be planned much in advance, but one or two things, natural disasters and natural reasons where you are not able to plan, that's very unfortunate. But even that also we are touching through various sessions, how you could anticipate, you could be prepared in advance right but then we will see what best to do that's the motto of the session yet another day yet another topic yet another great opportunity where we are able to once again stay in touch and you know discuss about another important nomenclature the title of today's session is centered around a very important aspect called as respect when i say respect you know people immediately what they think is about the external attributes very important you know when the elders they walk inside these days you see youngsters right they don't stand up you know that's why i appreciate our indian culture and ancient culture regardless of south indians or north indians they always have that attitude when an elder walks in or when they walk into an elder's house immediately they touch their feet okay i'm not saying touching feet is to be followed strictly because according to your culture your religion your caste or whatever maybe that's not the way how you follow maybe you hug you hug tightly you know and in certain culture in western culture they hug and they give a gentle kiss and even in arabian countries you know they they they kind of kiss and they they hug and all that but in indian culture they generally you know touch an elder's feet why because that's the way they they want to show that respect you know there are there are so many things encompassed in the touching feet and the hugging what they say is like first of all we love you so much right that you are an elder you are there to guide us we look up to you for guidance because you're very experienced you have seen many things in this world whereas I am very young I may not have got exposed to many parameters of my life I am yet to see many things therefore I look up to you secondly it's really great that you have dedicated your time your energy, your efforts and sacrifices to bring me up right and you have hand held for so long and you know days where as a kid as a baby I was unwell I don't even know how I overcame those sicknesses but you actually sacrificed many things, sacrificed your sleep and probably you didn't have money. You would have taken a medical loan and you have helped me to go through that surgery. So many things. We all have so many stories to tell and that one touching the feet means a lot. I took one example, right? That's called as respect. It's an external attribute, but it doesn't stop there. You know, that's where we want to spend little time. It doesn't stop there. It gets extended to various other characters, various other departments. Now, how do I explain this? This is all about elders. Elders could be your uncle, aunt or even your neighbor, an elderly neighbor is there, your parents of course and so many, you know, nomenclatures are there. So it is about relationship. Now let us move on to the next factor, right? into professional stuff because that is where many people are into. But between this relationship the personal relationship versus professional relationship there is also something called as all of us go through this education right and we we we we we mata pitta guru devam devam in the sense god mata pitta mata pitta father mother or mother father the next guy is guru professor or teacher who whatever teacher a yoga teacher or your fifth standard teacher or your college teacher or your university teacher or a PhD mentor, whoever it may be, right? Or even your own manager who's a good mentor, who's able to guide you and teach you many things, instill lot of qualities in you, set directions, set career path. When you get into those lines or those areas, you really need to feel that respect. It's not about forcing the respect. First of all, I have not told the title very well. Respect. Always, make efforts to earn that respect and not demand that respect that's the title of today's topic but first of all i need to brief what is the understanding that you may have or i may have we need to synchronize our thoughts as far as respect is concerned i think more or less we did some justice about explaining this stuff called as respect right and now let's get into the title how do I earn respect? Earning respect is nothing but you need to have that feeling of what they have delivered and the respect automatically comes. You know, some people, they are very, very casual with their managers, with their bosses or with their teachers and all that. And they also receive it very well. No problem. They actually, you know, put their hands around their shoulders of their professors and they laugh around and all that, which is also very nice no problem about that but if the professor doesn't like that or if the teacher doesn't like that or your parent doesn't like that then don't do that right that's a different way this is all external attribute but there is something inside right it's it's also coupled with another principle how to earn respect right it requires little bit of introspection it's coupled to another important proverb or important saying what you think of you is not what others think of you. It's very, very important to always receive that feedback. Sometimes you may assume that I am on top of my world. I know everything. Therefore, what happens? You get into the demanding side. You don't get into the earning side. Why? Because you're walking in complacency. You're walking in certain assumptions. You're very decisive. You're very affirmative that I am the best. What I'm doing, there can be no errors. what I preach, what I teach or what I whatever I deliver, there can be no errors and this is called a stupidity, I am very sorry to say this the reason is, because of such people, there is lot of stress that is being witnessed in the society that we live and sometimes people are monologues, don't talk, don't cross talk monologues, what I say is the final thing you are a very arrogant person, you are a dictator which you could see witness in your at your home in a political system or even in your spiritual system for a for example whichever religion you belong to you may have some Guruji or some Swamiji Muniji pastors and fathers and this and that does not matter sometimes they don't explain they ask you to do it no this is what it says this is what it there is no logical thinking and that's where people are getting into deception ultimately you will see coming in the news one family somewhere in the northern part of India Rajasthan or Jaipur I don't know which which part but I definitely had read this news now the deception led them to you know commit suicide you know they consume something mocha they can go and all that you know I'm not getting into the religious practices you know but then the thing is like their respect what they have is like a it is almost like madness it's like blind blindness and madness putting together is called as like respect according to their terms, according to their conditions. But that's not the actual definition of respect. You know, so much of respect they had, almost they start to believe things blindly, right? And people who are on the other side, where they enforce these things towards people, that they got to follow them blindly, they don't realize. But at least you are on the receiving side, you got to realize that you don't have to follow anyone blindly. You need to have logical reasons It must be well explained It must be well taught with certain case studies use cases explanations addressing all your concerns Only then you are a good mentor only then you are a good leader and only then you earn that respect You don demand that respect which a person who is on the leadership side, right, or a professor or a teacher or a parent or who may not realize, but then you're in young generation, you know, young people listening to me, you always need, it's not about argument, it's not about contradictions, it's not about always confronting, it's not about being quarrelsome, some people always they quarrel. I'm not talking about those qualities, those are negative qualities, but the positive qualities is like, you deserve to know what you are getting into with lots of convincing examples. It could be even a family doctor whom you know for a very long time. Perhaps the person is very old and outdated of the technologies. He doesn't want to even admit it. Why? Because it's becoming an ego problem. Right? A very good doctor, a long timer, probably 75 years old. Hey, you know what? I know only the olden days, olden day technology. We look at the tongue, eyes and we suggest something. But nowadays there are modernized technologies where you could go and consult certain good doctors. You could go in this field. You can, sorry, you can go and consult the specialist and all that. They don't refer. And we are not making use of certain technologies. I'm not saying always you should use technologies. I really respect some of my family doctors. I'm still in touch. And they don't encourage many of these technologies. But they do classify. There are certain things where they are really doubtful, where you need to go to certain specialists and talk and all that. If they don't refer that, right, because you have so much of respect, there is certain blindness, you know, color blindness. You cannot see the color, right? Something like that. You can call madness or blindness. It's up to you. When I say madness, language is very sharp and all that. No, so forget madness. Blindness, right? You are so blindfold that you are running behind a person with no logical reasoning. You need not be, right? Because we are living in a very modernized world and there are a lot of facilities available. You need to have this logical thinking. Only then you can definitely classify whether you are on the side of earning the person who doesn't demand that respect, but he has really earned your respect. You all understand. I'm talking from both the sides. A person who is delivering in whichever area he specializes, a professor or a teacher or a doctor or an engineer or a mentor or a coach or a manager, whoever you may be, or a parent, whoever you may be, children listening to me, at least after the age of 10, you are having all sensory organs, all technologies exposed and all that. Time to start thinking. Learn to ask questions, but don't contradict with your parents. Don't be disrespectful. Don't be impolite. Don't be arrogant. Watch out the words of your mouth. This is all mannerism. You know, our society, Indian society, Indian culture is known for respect. That's why initially itself I explained. You can touch your father's feet, mother's feet, but then please be logical. Don't be blind on anything. If your father asks you to do certain things where you are not fully convinced for example he says go to swimming go swimming classes enroll yourself that is you are very interested in playing keyboard you could always ask your daddy right i'm not very interested but you want me to enroll in some physical activity right i will go and play football i like to play tennis i like to play bantminton i will enroll no no swimming only all parts of the body is getting involved in that action and all that but you are not interested you can always say no parents listening to me also learn to you know win or earn that respect from your child do not demand do not enforce do not emphasize do not instigate you know pushing a person pressurizing a person and stressing your child that's bad and without a choice the kid moves on why because you're going to manhandle or you're not going to talk or you're going to show long faces you're going to frown And nice, you know, very good children, you know, they don't expose what they go through. But inside of them, there is so much of depression. Why? Without the choice, they have to follow your directions forcefully. That's bad on you. Yeah. You're not a good father. You're not a good mother. I'm sorry to say this. You really need to revisit your pattern, how you deal with your children. Probably you need to consult a psychiatrist, not your child. Many many parents they take their children to counselors and consultations and this and that But I think you need a consultation before taking your child Why because you are demanding respect and demanding respect comes only through emphasizing or enforcing certain things you cannot be a dictator always it requires sometimes you need to rebuke your children very strongly you need to say no you need to learn to say no to your children yeah there are areas but then not always that principle works you can you need to earn that respect being a good mentor being a good friend right and being having the patience to answer the questions the younger generation right they're having sparkling energy they're having so many brilliant ideas and they're also confused because there are ideas are so many they could be easily misled also now whose responsibility it is it is the responsibility of a professor or a teacher or a tutor or a parent or no it is your responsibility because they are dependent on you they look at you for guidance and and at the same why because they respect you so much and if you are on the demanding side you are actually misleading them because why you are saying them shut up you don't know i have heard many parents you know telling them shut up you don't deserve to open your mouth you're living in my house so what is this you know obviously they live in your house right you only begot them they you cannot outsource them to your neighbor and all that what nonsense is this you cannot make statements like that you know that tells your immaturity and your level of maturity or immaturity whatever you all understand and sometimes you know you need to send agents agents means what you need to send your friend to your child and ask about me what what he or she says what my son thinks of me what my daughter thinks of me this is all nice you know this is a knack to collect feedback you know i have done that many time with many times with my subordinates i ask about one subordinate what that other subordinate thinks of me you don't have to be scared i'm only asking because i want to correct myself they trust me so much always they have shared that you know kind of feedback my current team and also many teams that i've worked in the past because it's nice to know because what you think of me is not what you think of yourself is not what what others think of yourself and that gets you or drags you away from the demanding side to the earning side you will start to i'm not saying you should be a compromiser if they are giving 10 feedback right negative feedback not 10 not all 10 are valid yeah some sometimes all 10 are invalid that's okay but then you got to hear you got to be a good listener only then you will be on the side of earning that respect and not demanding the respect and on the other side you need not be blindfold always no you're scared of certain person who's always demanding respect yet you don't agree with him because there is no logical reasoning there is no there is no logic behind or rational behind a person asking you to follow certain things say no to it politely you have every right to say it's a democratic country you have all liberty and freedom to say no until you are convinced until you are being explained it's being told to you and explained you can always say no to it you need to have that boldness you need to have that courage and parents listening to me always encourage your children in this direction because at some point of time they have to start dealing things independently you cannot run behind them do not pamper them do not keep spoon feeding them but then you know learn you help them to learn things all by themselves and therefore they know how to overcome and how to deal with things rather than you know always depending on you and asking questions like why I should do this and how can I do this right teach them and don't bluntly deliver things to your children. I think that is enough. My time is already up. So, I think today you understood two, three things. What is respect? How to earn respect? Why not to demand respect? Why not to be an enforcer of certain things and being a little arrogant, you know, where is my respect that I deserve and all that, you know. If you deserve that respect, it will automatically come. You will automatically feel that, you will automatically see that in your children, in your, with your subordinates at workplace and stuff like that all right hope that was useful please comment if you have not and please subscribe if you have not you will start receiving automatic notifications and helps you to stay in touch with us because we keep releasing lots of videos like this that are only going to help you I can guarantee that we are not injecting any any negativity we are only here to inject positivity and build this society which is responsibility everyone's responsibility whichever role you are playing you may not be good at communication skills but then that's okay but the little that you could do you always have that responsibility to build your society alright thank you very much namaste and take care god bless you