For so many years I was a complete perfectionist. I believed that the only lovable quality in me was a driven-ness to do everything flawlessly. Of course that brings with it a whole host of anger, rage, depression and bad stuff. I had become a human doing, not a human being and as such I was hard on everyone - myself, my wife, my children, my employees and anyone who needed Christ! I was preaching the gospel of the Galatians which was a deadly mix of minimal grace and maximum obedience, law and punishment. No wonder no one wanted what I had.
It took years of pain and suffering - physical, mental, financial and emotional - to begin to crack my perfectionist shell and reveal the love that God was building inside. It is a journey of great length and challenge to face oneself and allow Jesus to chisel the old, dead ways of thinking, speaking and behaving. I hope today I am a more patient, loving husband, father and boss but it is all due to God's greater love shining in the window of my heart.