Bad Decisions in Life: Overcoming Self-Destructive Habits with Faith

Learn how to overcome self-destructive habits with faith

Understand the reasons behind making bad decisions in life

Discover the importance of respecting your feelings and intuition

Develop a habit of rating and commenting on products to help others make informed choices

Hello my dear friends, good morning, good evening, namaskaram, namaste and a warm welcome to one and all of you. I strongly believe and I hope that the session finds you in good health and strength and you are at good peace. If not otherwise, do not worry about anything. Why? Because in life there are going to be troubles and you can consult any individual, you can talk to any person it could be your neighbor it could be your own wife it could be your own husband every one of us will go through some more other problems in life yeah and without a choice sometimes you know you don't invite troubles you don't invite problems but then it just happens and that's life these sessions are the ones which are going to help you to overcome such problems and the only intention or motive and objective is to build people as overcomers. Alright? So, one of you listening to me or all of you listening to me, please close your eyes and say that I want to be an overcomer. Right? And believe in that. You can overcome. You can handle any problem in life. There are things out of your control. Right? A lot of things are not in our control. But still, there are things that even when it is going out of control, you are able to handle it. You will find ways to handle it. Just matter of time. You know, some problems we resolve in matter of a week or a day or a month but some problems we fight it out for even 10 years right but the good news is you are fighting it out okay a warm welcome again to this motivational series and today a turn of the topic a turn of the session and the title of this topic is why do people end up making bad decisions in life or the title also could be like this one One bad decision could ruin your life. Agree with me or not? Right? We all have gone through these kind of scenarios in life. Ah, oops, biting the tongue or biting the nail and I shouldn't have made this decision. I should have made a different decision or I should have made a right choice. So decision comes as a resultant of several choices that are right in front of us and you make the or you pick the bad choice or you make the wrong choice correct and the choices that are you know kind of friend in front of you for example any country you take you take toothpaste you take you know detergent soaps or you take bathing soaps or you take shaving creams or anything any product there are multiple varieties of brands and each brand is nothing but a choice now before making a choice for example you are googling you are going to the shopping cart for example or shopping websites e-commerce sites like Amazon Flipkart and you are going to see something called as rating correct or not what people are thinking about this or what people who people who had bought this product before what they had thought about it you will be you know scrolling down to see the comments some people put in pictures and all that so So, some of you listening to me, you don't have the habit of rating a product or commenting for a product. Please start inculcating that habit. Why? Because the rating and comment that you are posing there is going to help another person not to make the choice, provided it was the bad choice you made, right? And some people, you know, why I should make a comment, you know, let others also suffer. That's a wrong attitude. That's not a good attitude, right? If it's a good product, yes, sometimes you may not rate. why because it's already rated as a good product forget it don't waste your time but if it was a bad product or being rated as a good product and then you bought it and found out no it was bad then probably definitely you have to go and you know kind of rate it as a bad product fine now let's come back to the original point now you make your before you make your choices you review it you you kind of discuss with your spouse or you may then make the right decision right now when When you made the decision for a product which is worth 200 rupees or 100 rupees, fine, you can always take a chance. But what if you are ordering a television set, a 43 inches color television set, LED, yeah, LED screen and this is going to cost you around 50,000 rupees. I'm very, very sure you are going to take weeks together or months together some people to review enough and to consult certain people who had bought this product and call them up or visit some showrooms and all that right you're going to make enough research now all of us do this and sometimes yet we end up you know with bad decisions now how is that possible and what are the reasons behind us behind these kind of bad decisions is is what we are going to review today and once again there is no right or wrong in this discussion all right what decision is good to me may be absolutely bad to you. What decision is bad to you may be absolutely good to me So there is no you know the contradicting factor but the definition goes like this i not reading but i know this how do you feel that it a bad decision right or how do you know you have made a bad decision because 10 people are buying something or 10 people are opting to work in a company company xyz right and all among all the 10 people 9 are happy they really liked it and you are the only one who don't like it now you may have your own reasons the simple definition for bad decision is how do you feel the bad decision is it's nothing but you are able to feel your feelings yeah you go to respect your feelings what others like not necessarily you should be biased not necessarily you should be compromising you don't like it you don't like it and you have your reasons you have your reasons why you don't like it because we are living in a democratic world and we definitely believe in democracy and obviously you have been given that rights you have been given that liberty to make your right choices and obviously any social media starting from facebook all the way to twitter they have all always given you likes and dislikes why because the it's your choice right and therefore there is no right or wrong right the remaining nine people majority wins therefore you are the only one who is to be called as an idiot or a fool. No, please don't buy such things. Not necessarily. Maybe, who knows? The other nine are stupids and idiots. You are the only one who is intellectual. Many cases, you know, ended up like that way too. So, never go by the majority voting and all that, right? We are not running a political show here. So, don't worry. Life is different. Feeling is absolutely something that deserves respect. So, no problem. So, my original point was how do you know that you have ended up in a wrong decision or a bad decision as you will never be happy with your decision right for example yesterday we went for a movie and it was rated as something like 9.3 i would not want to mention the name of the movie and discourage others why because every one of them enjoyed i did not enjoy the movie very much the very reason i'll tell you what the rating was the culprit somebody rated it as 9.3 and set that expectation into my head And I go and sit there, you know, 9.3 definitely just something like, you know, like Bahubali 1, part 1 and part 2 and all that. It was historical movie. I don't want to mention the name because they really manufactured it with a lot of difficulty. But they hyped up, right? And they created a wrong expectation. But then the movie was okay. It was ordinary. But somebody wouldn't have rated it. I wouldn't have, you know, set that wrong expectation into my head, right? I was not the reason behind it. But still, was I wrong? Sorry, was I wrong and others are right? Was others where others were wrong and I was right? No, you cannot judge certain things you cannot bring into the peripherals of, you know, judging or you cannot pass a verdict. No, I am wrong. You are all sorry. I am right and you are all wrong. No, no one can make that statement. But still, it's very personalized stuff. It's a very personalized factor. Right. And you still end up with that kind of feeling and learn to respect that feeling is what I told already. Now, let us review some of the factors. What makes you feel that the decision you made was a wrong decision or was a bad decision? There are some analytical points which were reviewed by Stanford, which were reviewed by Google and all that. Google itself is like a university, right? now there are seven factors and which we are going to review the reason why because people think or why people think that it's a wrong decision or it's a bad decision the first factor is programmed versus non-programmed decisions we have the mindset right there is a thick skin on your on your on your brains where you know it's already programmed whatever others may tell you it will never enter into your head correct because why you are biased and you believe that you have all the knowledge and experience to make the decision and some people it's exactly the opposite side non-program always in a you know you tell me you tell me you tell me they'll be begging for other people to make the choices for them right that is also wrong you need to have a kind of a balanced methodology a balanced mechanism to make those choices you neither be this side not that side people shut their ears or people only open their ears no you have to open your ears nothing wrong hearing others opinion but then the decision come from must come from you and there should be a lot of fact-based reviews and analysis that has to be done before you make a choice now what are the areas where people really end up you know frequently end up making the bad choices is what we are also going to review but then what are the factors which really trigger people to make bad choices. Information and inputs from a wrong source Correct A person who not even experienced about an aeronautical stuff you know you want to put your son or daughter into aeronautical engineering He probably did chemical engineering or a medical science or something like that You go and ask that guy what would he say right You go to consult the right people That is another factor Third is self-prejudice. I know everything, especially elders, right? You know, it's not about age. I'll tell you what, a guy or a teen who is around 16 years or 20 years or 22 years, definitely they know much, much better and a lot better than, you know, people who are 50 plus or 60 plus. Why? Because the generation gap, the technology gap, right? And what we used to have in terms of technology, obviously, it is something like, you know, tenfold it has improved. And I'm not saying that you don't have access to those resources, you don't have access. But then these guys grew with the technology and they were born and brought up in the technology. But you and I were adapting to the technology, right? You and I were not born and brought up. Don't look at me, what, you are 50 plus or what, I'm not 50 plus, I'm still a youngster in heart, probably not in looks, yeah, but the thing is, some people smartly, they adopt, you know, I've seen this empty old man whom I know, I respect him a lot, you know, that elder person, he knows many things in internet than what I know or what I would know, right, and I learnt a lot from him. and he is able to you know switch on his balcony lights and everything and controlled remotely through cloud you know from his mobile phone and I learned from him and I've never heard anything of that sort and it was a good learning so age doesn't matter but how quickly you adapt right that matters the source of information matters so you don't have that self-prejudice that I am elder and what I would say you know what is my experience your age is my experience and all that something like that so don't ever you know age is a number anyway so don't ever go by all that you know or cognitive constraints people refrain talking to others why because they will get to know what i'm looking for you know you don't have to tell that you are looking for a color television or a refrigerator and all tell that you know somebody asked me do you know anything about it or my brother wants it and all that you want to you want to lie about it because you want to protect that secret refrigerator secret and all that or air-conditioned secret you don't have to reveal the names keep it simple attitude about risk and uncertainty right always people you know they refrain from taking risks there is no life there is no decision without without you know one percent risk you know there is no decision that is having zero percent risk every decision there will be some or other risk so you need to again look at the risk probabilities you know how can i mitigate the risk and how big is the probability i make a decision a the probability is really critical yeah definitely 90 i will fail then don't make such decisions but the probability sometimes may be low maybe 80 i will be successful and 20 risk is there i may fail 80 is greater than 20 go ahead 80 20 rule you know right so and personal habits some people are introverts and extra extroverts all that that session we have done you you please go and look at it and social and cultural influences right some people you know a talagaite will talk to a talagaite only a malayali will definitely talk to a malayali only a thamlian may talk to everyone but then he will not listen to anyone that's a different story so or a bengali to a bengali do not have that kind of cultural constraints learn to be a guy who is social and respect every human being from any age group or any culture skin color any regional background please don't restrict why because you know that's when you will build your knowledge that's when you will build your knowledge base KB in your mind in your brain because why more or less you know people in your circle they know everything you know you know everything they know but what you both do not know is sitting there with a different you know skin color and with a different language and all that learn to talk learn to respect each other you understand these are the factors which really triggers us to make bad choices now what are the areas people generally tend to make bad decisions there are five or six things we say that and we will talk about how to i think i side by side touched how to overcome this problem what are those five or six areas where people really make bad choices marriage you know picking your life partner it's never easy it's never easy but then no life partner can fulfill your requirement to 100 percentage the looks the height the hair the skin color the eyes and this and that and all that you know and no girls can always get amir khan's and salman khan's and sharu khan's and amita bachan's in life correct but then you need to imagine imagine and get into the realm of accepting the person whoever he is and likewise you cannot get aishwarya rai's and madhuri dikshit definitely you need to be a compromiser because you go and talk to madhuri dikshit she will also tell the same thing imagine my husband someone like and someone else I married Even great actresses and actors right They have to compromise That's life. You know, this is where, you know, people really get into problem. I made a bad choice. I shouldn't have got married to her. Man, it's too late. It can only make your life complicated. So don't ever make that point as a, or you will end up in hustles. And post consequences are going to be tremendous. It will also impact your children. So don't get into that. Okay. Secondly, job, which is much easier than marriage. Why? Because you can change your job. Now, people are also changing wives and husbands. It's a different story. It may sound like a joke, but the post consequences are really terrible. It will impact your life. It will impact your children's future. Therefore, do not do that. Marry and learn to love one another. Learn to accept whoever the other person, the opposite person is, whoever your spouse is. Right. You might have wanted a person who is so courageous, bold and you know punch like what is that Arnold Schwarzenegger and all that right. But then this guy is so feeble, he is so timid. Accept him as who he is and why do you want him to go and punch and that guy is punching in movies. Now this guy cannot do that, he will land up in jail. Probably what he is doing is right. Let him be timid. but you can slowly build him you can tell him on his shortcomings and you can build the guy right and you have a you have a role to play because you are his life partner you are his better half you can make his life better because you are his half okay so anyway that was a crazy definition anyway forget it job it's very easy to handle right it's not that some people they think you know i got stuck in this job and uh you know my life is gone and all that you are a lazy fellow you are a sluggish person i didn't want to use any other words you understand you have really really gone into the comfort zone right the company doesn't force you oh please be here without you we cannot make revenue you know bill gates is not going to tell you this or your company owner is not going to tell you this you don't like the company you it's not keeping you happy and joyful go ahead and find a different job isn't it you cannot make statements like i made a wrong decision I made a bad decision I shouldn't have taken this offer employment is very easy nowadays right just upgrade your skills and go on fight for your job and you will get it right thirdly education right and people when they select the education for their children or themselves do not regret good example my testimony I told you I picked civil engineering but then later I realized my interest was towards IT which I myself didn't know because I didn't have a person like me to advise me now you have the you have me to advise you or not advise it's actually to share experiences and the little that I know I can tell you that's all nothing great about me alright so I didn't have someone like me to tell me or guide me but then I picked up and then I had to learn through hard ways so education anyway you have made that choice you have gone into it it can't be undone it can't be erased right because you have spent lot of money and all that now see what is closest to your desire and what is closest to your qualification engineering is the basis for any entry therefore I used that as an advantage and I started upgrading my skills on IT side and I did a lot of studies and certification and joined a training Institute and this and that even while I was doing my third year engineering so I was able to find a suitable job in IT and I was able to prosper similarly never ever regret on your decisions as far as your education is concerned definitely there is a higher study you are a you know extended study you can do you can do certifications so there are varieties of choices or find and find a counselor who can help you right there are educational counselors who can really help and guide you these are the three things that i can think of right the wedding the job the education there are many other factors i can keep on talking but time is up i want to wind it up to 20 minutes my friend my brother my sister listen to me There is nothing called as bad decision. There is nothing called as bad choice. Happened has happened. Don't simply keep rewinding the tape. Correct? That will only bring in bad moods and really kill the time in your life. Every minute is precious. Don't rewind the tape. Anyway, it was a bad choice. Fine. Accept it. Regret it for a day or two and then just overcome and come to the next point. Right? Go to the next level. How do I overcome? How do I fix this? Talk to the right people or if you have all intellectual or browse in Google and all that you do, right? But somehow try to overcome. Do not look behind too much because it will only pull you backward. Learn to march forward in life. God bless you. Take care. Please subscribe to our channel. There are tons of motivational videos like this. We always pick topics which are really practical and helpful and meaningful. but if you don't feel it no problem please let us know what are those meaningful topics therefore we can try to invest time and help you there all right take care God bless you bye namaskaram

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