Overcoming Self Pity: A Sin of Pride in Christianity

Self-pity is a sin of pride in Christianity.

It blinds us to God's good graces and provision.

Self-pity involves dwelling on one's own sorrows or misfortunes.

The story of Naomi in the book of Ruth is a biblical example of self-pity.

Today, I'm going to discuss a subject that we give very little thought to or consideration to in regards to its villainous effect on our lives. And this subject is called self-pity. And self-pity is really a sin of pride. Yes, just think about that. Self-pity is a sin. and its origin stems from the age-old sin called pride. And I'm going to show you that today in this word. Well, Satan is the author of pride, and he was found guilty of this sin when he rose up in anarchy against God and tried to usurp God's sovereign authority. Well, Scripture says that Satan was hurled out of the eternity of eternities In Ezekiel 28, 17, the Lord spoke, your heart was proud and lifted up because of your beauty. You corrupted your wisdom for the sake of your splendor. And I cast you to the ground and I lay you before kings that they might gaze at you. Well, the term here being laid before kings or leaders was meant to be an example of God's wrath against presumptuous pride. And that was meant to be a warning for all not to fall into this same sin called pride, which God truly hates with a vengeance and a passion. And as I said, self-pity is a sin. And its origin stems from the age-old sin called pride and deals with me, myself, and I. when it comes to anything that deals with our feelings, our thoughts, our emotions, and also involves what I think. One of the most sinister things about this horrific sin is that it blinds us to the good that God has graced us with and also blinds us to God's present provision and reasons to praise and thank him from our hearts and not from our heads or out of duty. Self-pity, according to Webster's Dictionary, defines pity as having pity for oneself, especially a self-indulgent attitude concerning one's own difficulties or hardships, and its dwelling on one's own sorrows or misfortunes. So boil down and bottom line, then self-pity is really all about self. And this is why it is called a sin, and this is why it is a sin of pride. One of the greatest biblical examples in Scripture is found in the book of Ruth, And that is in the account of where Naomi and her husband flee to another land due to famine in the land of Canaan where they lived. The story of Naomi occurred in the time of when there was no king in Israel. And every man did what was right in his own eyes. Well, let's open with Judges 21, verse 25. Judges 21-25 and see the story unfold in regards and reference to our subject today called Self-Pity is a Sin of Pride. And we will begin in the last chapter of Judges and the last verse of the chapter. So as you go to just look for the last verse in that chapter, I want you to catch the flavor of this account as it moves into the story and sets the stage for our subject today, again called Self-Pity is a Sin of Pride. Judges 21-25, and in those days there was no king in Israel. Every man did what was right in his own eyes. Moving into the next chapter, Ruth 1-1, in the days when the judges ruled, there was a famine in the land, and a certain man of Bethlehem, of Judah, went to sojourn in the country of Moab, he and his wife and his two sons. The man's name was Abimelech, and his wife's name was Naomi, and their two sons were named Melon, which means invalid, and Chilion means pining. They were Ephraimites from Bethlehem of Judah, and they went to the country of Moab and continued there. But Abimelech, who Naomi's husband, died, and she was left with her two sons. And they took wives of the women of Moab. The name of one was Oprah, and the name of another was Ruth. They dwelt there about 10 years. Well, we read that there was a famine in the land. And this land was Canaan. And it was once known as a land flowing with milk and honey. And the famine in the land was due to one of the judgments which God had threatened to bring upon the people for their sins. And we can read about this judgment in Leviticus 26, verse 17. The Lord said, I will set my face against you, and you shall be defeated and slain before your enemies. They who hate you shall rule over you. You shall flee when no one pursues you. And if in spite of all of this, you will still not listen and be obedient to me, then I will chastise and discipline you seven times more for your sin. Verse 19, and I will break and humble your pride and power, and I will make your heavens as iron, yielding no answer, no blessing, no rain, and your earth as sterile as brass. Verse 20, and your strength shall be spent in vain, for your land shall not yield its increase, neither shall the trees of the land yield their fruit. If you walk contrary to me and will not heed me, I will bring seven times more plagues upon you according to your sins. So at this time in these days, the word of God was unfolding as a true reality. When God finally had enough of his people's disobedience, he allowed the Chaldeans to bring torment to this rebellious nation who refused to comply with God's standards of righteousness. The Chaldeans ravaged the fields of the Israelites, causing famine and poverty in Naomi's day. Verse 20 said, and your strength shall be spent in vain, for your land shall not yield its increase, and neither shall the trees of the field yield their fruit. You see, a fruitful land is turned into barrenness and extreme poverty, all because of the sinful practice of doing things their own way by rejecting God and his commandments, which obligate them to act in accordance with his righteous laws and principles which he has established for his people to live by. And these laws and principles define and set apart his holy people. God acts in accordance with these laws which he has established and the people who call him by name do not act within the confines of these laws and principles. God in due time, as we have seen in scripture, we have just read, will project his righteous anger at that sin. And this stands for whole nations, but also individually as well, we will see in the account with Naomi and her husband. Disobedience is a grievous sin. And because of habitually disobeying God, the people in this particular account today experienced lack and emptiness and hardship in trying to make a living where they once experienced having plenty. So we see this one particular family singled out in their state in distress in the famine, caused them to think that the grass would be greener on the other side of the fence. So they resorted to doing things in their own way. Remember Judges 21-25 again says, In those days there was no king in Israel, and every man did what was right in his own eyes. The family decided to leave Bethlehem, their own God-given land, and move into a country that was on the other side of the Jordan called Moab because of the famine in their own land. Now it seems like there was plenty in the land of Moab when Israel's own land had scarcity of bread, and we read also that this land once flowed in milk and honey. And this is saying that the land was fertile and the grass was plenteous for the livestock, and thus they produced much milk for their owners, a land of milk and honey. Well, honey was symbolic of the abundance of the bees and the honey that they produced. All of this is showing that the abounding rain upon the land provided the necessary support and comforts of life. But the rain stopped for the inhabitants of the promised land called Canaan. And how many times we see where those who are strangers to God seem to benefit from God's gift of providence or abundance more than those who know him. But yet many who know God do not submit or obey to his commands, and that is what we are seeing in this story of Naomi today. Now, the reason for God blessing unbelievers is not because God loves them or pities the unbeliever more, but it is because they will have their allowance or ration in this life. And God provides for even the most common bird called the sparrow. But be reminded as well, those who remain unbelievers or backsliders will receive their judgment at the end of their days. This will purely be for declining God offer of eternal life through his son Jesus Christ And the wages of sin is eternal death and all sinners and liars will earn this place for themselves in eternity Well, now we have to wonder, in our example of Abimelech and Naomi, what logic did they have to go to a godless nation any more than any of their neighbors had in going? In fact, the account in scripture tells us that this family went out in full. Verse 21 of Ruth, chapter 21, Naomi says, I went away full and Jehovah has made me come back again empty. Please read with me in Ruth, chapter 1, verse 18. As we see this great pity party unfold. and when Naomi saw that Ruth had made up her mind and could not be persuaded otherwise, she stopped urging her. So they both came to Bethlehem and the entire village was stirred by their arrival. Is this really Naomi, the women asked. But she told them, don't call me Naomi, call me Mara. Naomi means pleasant, Mara means bitter, for the Almighty has dealt me bitter blows. I went out in full, and the Lord has brought me home empty. Why should you call me Naomi when the Lord has turned his back on me and sensed such calamity? Naomi comes back into her own land once again and begins to hit herself over the head and wallows in her own pity party and in the whole process of her big show, God gets the blame for her own carnal reasons and decisions for fleeing into the land of a godless people, or we would say flee into Egypt, go back to the world. And the definition of a pity party is an instance of self-indulgence in self-pity and eliciting or getting others to join you in your emotional and irrational poor decisions or unfortunate situation. Self-pity is not only a sin of pride, but it is also a sin of manipulation. And in this case with Naomi, finally returning back to her country because she had heard that God had satisfied his righteous justice on the people and that they had sought his forgiveness for their continual and habitual sin against him, he had blessed them once again. So when Naomi returns, the people couldn't believe this was the same woman that they had remembered 10 years ago. So in those 10 years, she must have aged considerably. Naomi's name means pleasant and my delight. And I'm sure that she lived up to that name before she moved away from under the protection of God. And not only did she lose her husband, but her two sons as well. but they experienced lack in the land of Moab because God didn't bless them there either. You know, we can't try to outsmart or outwit God and try to make our lives better for ourselves when we disobey his righteous decrees and set the limits and boundaries of what are sinful and unjust practices in our everyday life. we do that to ourselves Naomi and her husband were going to the world so to speak to do things their own way so that they could maintain their standard of living and enjoy the comforts that they had known in the land of plenty but how many know that there is always a penalty for doing things our own way when we do things our own way God isn't in it and sooner or later we realized, hey, where are you, God? You're not with me in this. So Naomi must have come back looking like she aged 20 years, and she must have had a countenance on her face that looked forlorn with grief, and she'd lost her loved ones and came back with absolutely nothing but poverty and a daughter-in-law who was a foreigner in the land of Canaan now. Well, people can't expect to prosper when they go out from underneath the divine protection of God's blessing and take up measures in their own hands to help themselves. God will not bless our impatience, nor our trying to beat the system or use his grace and stretch it to justify our carnal reasons of why we did what we did or we still do what we do. Well, now we have the story in a nutshell. Naomi, in her pity party, blames God for afflicting her. She said, I went away full, now I come back with nothing. Like it was God's choice and decision for them to pull up stakes and move into the land where his blessing upon a people did not rest because they knew him not and didn't care to know him. not God's fault that her sons took Chaldean wives, which was forbidden by God. But yet she too, in essence, blamed God for that by saying he brought me back empty and has turned his back on me and has sent me such calamity and has given me such bitter blows. Can we see here that she was really hitting herself over the head with all of this? And yet, and this is the way so many people do today because of wrongdoings, bad choices, and even tragedies or trials and with inconveniences that come their way. They blame God or others instead of taking into account their own sins of negligence and bad choices and decisions and even outright disobedience to God's command in keeping with honest and upright practices in their dealings, in day-to-day operations, in business, and in living their Christian life honorably before God and man. You see, the grievous results of disobedience invokes a penalty from God. And disobedience results in death, as we see in the case of Naomi's husband and her two sons. disobedience results in drought in our own land in our own business and famine is always the aftermath of drought but if after their disobedience Israel would come back to God he would fulfill his promises to Abraham and he would restore the nation he said just to remind you again in Leviticus 26.15 we had read earlier I, the Lord, will set my face against you, and you shall be defeated and slain before your enemies. Those who hate you shall rule over you, and you shall flee when no one pursues you. In other words, they live in terror and constant fear. And if in spite, verse 18, all of this, you still will not listen and be obedient to me, I will chastise you and discipline you seven times more for your sins. I will break and humble your pride in your power. And I will make your heaven as iron or other scriptures say as brass, yielding no answer, no blessing, no rain. In other words, to our prayers. And your earth will be sterile as brass and your strength shall be spent in vain. Everything will run through the fingers and your land shall not yield its increase. Neither shall the trees of the land yield their fruit. And if you walk contrary to me and will not heed me, I will bring seven times more plagues upon you according to your sins. All this to say, again, when we continually show disobedience to God's commands, there will come a time when he will let us experience drought and famine in our own lives so that he can break and humble the pride of our power that has set itself up in our hearts. He said, your strength will be spent in vain, and your land shall not yield its increase. So it's at times like these that we have to ask ourselves and say, God, you're silent, and the heavens are like grass. and some even go beyond that and they say, God, what am I doing wrong? Why is your blessing not with me? What am I doing wrong? But not Naomi. She had a pity party. She blamed God instead of looking at her own life and where she might be at fault. You see, self-pity causes blindness. Self-pity is all about self. Self-pity is really bitterness, and it distorts our view of God and reality. Naomi heard the people talking, and she responds with heartfelt bitterness. You can just imagine once she came back into the city gates, these memories flooded her mind with seeing her little boys running around with their friends playing in the marketplace or remembering that her husband Abimelech before Sabbath and how he used to avoid the rush hour traffic and getting home before sundown. All the sights and the sounds would remind her of what she had lost. And when she went home, how for a widow the house seemed to be dark and empty and void of what sounds and joy that were once there but are not any longer. And all the mile markers of memories come flooding back to her with all the vivid tastes and smells and seeing the fruit and the vegetables and plenty once again and the vivid colors of life once again open up the wounds of her loss. I wonder how many today in God's church would honestly call themselves a Naomi too when their loss overwhelms them in their faith of God's promises. Self-pity dwells on the loss until people can't see anything but that. And as I said, self-pity is blinding and blinds everything else and finally produces faithlessness Oh yes people will say well I trust in God and I know that he on my side Oh but deep in their hearts they poor and miserable and bitter about their circumstances and it comes forth and manifests itself in many different ways. And Naomi probably didn't know what she was really saying when she said, my name isn't Naomi any longer, which means pleasant and delightful. But call me Mara instead. Mara means bitter. That's what was in her heart. She was really describing how she felt. She was bitter. And her bitterness was with God and it was God's fault. She bites or growls at the women when she selfishly blames the Almighty for her bitterness. Almighty means El Shaddai. It means the one who rules and is all-powerful, and she blames him for her lack and extreme poverty. She feels the weight of the Almighty, the supreme and sovereign God, whom she feels has dealt bitterly with her, and because she once experienced fullness, but now has lack. She once had her family, but now she has nothing but memories. it's understandable that to lose a family member will be a devastating loss let alone your entire family as she had experienced but we have to say in all generous judgment here Naomi's grief and sorrow was genuine and real and this was not attributed to her faithlessness though Her faithlessness was the fact that she blamed God and accused him for all of her troubles and woes. She didn't look at her decisions and choices in fleeing from the land that God had given to his people. But in comparison, the difference between Naomi and David is that David in Psalms 18, David praised God for having delivered him from all of his enemies, especially from Saul. And David exalts God and says in biblical imagery, God thundered from the heavens and he drew me out of deep waters and he placed me upon the rock of safety. David further says in this particular psalm, which I'm paraphrasing, God has rewarded my righteousness. David saw God's faithfulness to him as the just reward for his own faithfulness to God. And David, rather than his devious and dishonest enemies, received the reward. David received the reward. David praised God as the glorious God and he continued his praise and thankfulness. and God continued to project to empower and lead him into every victory over all of his enemies. He supplied everything he needed. And this is the difference between David and Naomi. David was rewarded for his faithfulness and obedience to God. He didn't cry out to God and accuse him, but Naomi did. We read in scripture that when David sinned, he said God was right in giving him what he did in his punishment. I deserved what I got from God. And Naomi sees that God has judged her situation, but she does not understand his indictment or charges against her. She only blames and labels God to be at fault for bringing her back empty. And she said, the Lord has afflicted me. He's testified against me. It was him who brought me back with all of this agony and pain. And her whole theology is puny and distorted because her feelings and her suffering blind her from seeing the reality of this whole scene and bottom line, her lack of trust in the Almighty, the El Shaddai, the all-breasty one who will supply all of our needs when we need them and when we are faithful to him. But rather, Naomi and her husband ran to the world to do things their own way. And remember, in those days there was no king in the land and people did what they saw fit in their own eyes. Self-pity blinds us to the good things that God has graced us with. Self-pity makes us forget that the promises are yea and amen in Jesus Christ and in him alone. You see, fulfillment of God's promises are for those who qualify because of right relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. And Naomi had forgotten the promises of God. You see, when people get in a tight place with their circumstances and trials in life, they can have this knowledge in their head but not in their hearts. They really doubt God and his promises and rather tend to not believe him and they prove this when they step out to take matters in their own hands to do unjust or sinful things, to hurry or speed up the results that they now want rather than wait on God for him to bless them and do it the right way. and self-pity makes us forget the present blessings of God too. Naomi really couldn't see that Ruth was a true blessing to her and how many times we as God's people fail to appreciate and take this matter into account. That is the people that God has placed around us that are truly a blessing and a gift to us in so many ways. Ruth was a beautiful treasure in God's eyes because she saw something special in her husband and in Naomi also. And that she knew and recognized as something different from her own godless and idolatrous religious belief system. She truly loved her mother-in-law. She knew enough that she wanted to follow her and her God into a land where she knew no one except this woman who had grown very dear to her and very special, and she wanted to be a help to her. She wanted to take care of her. What devotion and what love. And Ruth was truly devoted and committed to Naomi, and Naomi couldn't see this fact because she was blinded by wallowing in her own sinful pity party. In fact, Ruth's wonderful statement of faith and commitment is contrasted with Naomi's regurgitation of bitter accusation against God. Ruth's touching words of commitment and devotion to her mother-in-law are found in Ruth 1.16. And Ruth said, was determined to go with her, she said no more. Honestly, dear church, there is no way to justify faithless self-pity. Self-pity is sinful and manipulative. It blinds us to God's present provision and robs us of reasons of why we should honestly and earnestly from our hearts give him the praise that he is due. Naomi and Ruth came back into the city of Bethlehem. And it was at the beginning of the barley harvest. And there was plenty of food once again in the land. And Bethlehem means house of bread. God has provided and soon after the barley harvest of the wheat would soon follow after that. And we've read many times in scripture where David's bed was soaked with tears and his hope in his God was always near on his heart and his praise for his God was always on his lips. And let me say this. God has blessed us tremendously in Jesus Christ. Naomi's self-pity lied in the fact of where she found her true joy. Her real joy and happiness and fullness was in her family and all of her abundance. Her self-pity was sinful and prideful because her joy was not found in her God who provided her with everything, but it was in what she lost. And I'm not talking about grief at the loss of a loved one. This grief for true Christians will pass in time. This grief does not steal our joy. Because our joy is found in Jesus Christ. God has blessed us tremendously in Jesus Christ. Jesus in time takes the grief of our loss and helps us to focus on him and his goodness. And by his mercy, we shall see our loved ones one day again. 1 Thessalonians 4.13 declares, And now we would not have you ignorant, brethren, about those who fall asleep in death, that you may not grieve for them as the rest do who have no hope beyond the grave. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with him through Jesus those who have fallen asleep in death. Verse 15. And for this we declare to you by the Lord's own word that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord shall in no way proceed into his presence or have any advantage at all over those who have previously fallen asleep with him in death. For the Lord himself will descend from the heavens with a loud cry of summons, with the shout of an archangel, with a blast of the trumpet of God, and those who have departed in this life in Christ will rise first. Then we, the living ones who remain on the earth, shall simultaneously be caught up along with the resurrected dead in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so always, through the eternity of eternities, we shall be with the Lord. Therefore, comfort and encourage one another with these words. But Naomi did not grieve. Naomi had bitterness So she could not have true joy because she was blinded by her situation and circumstances and it had all gone wrong from the beginning Self-pity only brings hopelessness and self-centeredness. There was a man in the early 1400s who served God and shared the words that the Lord had given to him specifically had encountered this very subject that we are talking about today, and that is self-pity. It is called a letter from Jesus Christ to the soul that really loves him. And the letter reads, and the Lord says, One thing I have to warn you of especially is that your constant tendency to grow faint-hearted under the weight of your faults and oversights and an inclination almost to despair when a sudden lack of confidence reduces your firm decisions to do nothing. The Lord says, I know these moods when you sit there utterly alone, eaten up with unhappiness in a pure state of grief. You don't move towards me, but desperately imagine that everything that you've ever done has been utterly lost and forgotten. This, your own strength, will no more help you to stand upright than dropping yourself on a broken reed. You must not despair of me. You must hope and trust in me absolutely. My mercy is infinite. You see, this dear saint is sharing the bottom line and result of what so many of us have at one time or another have fallen into and experienced, and that is self-pity. And it's saying, I want control. I don't have it. And God wants us to rely and trust in him. And he'll work out everything else on our behalf to comply with his plans for us. Self-pity is simply the loss of hope in one's own control and ability. and it produces faithlessness and hope in God's control. His ability, his willingness to help us in all of our trials, in all of our adverse circumstances and troubling times. You see, dear ones, you can't make life work for yourself on your own terms. Neither can I. You will lose hope if you try and continue to try. and you lose hope and then fall into self-pity and then try to manipulate people and circumstances and things to accommodate yourself. And this is really saying to Jesus Christ, your blood and your righteousness and your life are not enough for me. You're my God and my God is in you all day long. All day long. He didn't say just in this moment or just in this few hours, but he says all day long. And further in Psalm 62, verse 5, David says, Find rest, O my soul, in God alone. My hope comes from him. He is my rock and my salvation. He is my fortress. I will not be shaken by my circumstances. I'm adding that. By my trials. but my salvation verse 7 and my honor depend on God he is my mighty rock and my refuge trust in him at all times oh people pour out your hearts to him for God is our refuge I ask you dear church where does your hope come from what do you need to be joyful and filled to the brim? Do you want closeness with your Savior? Is he distant and a stranger to you and your trials and your adverse circumstances and situations? Are you trusting in your own strength and means of your own ability to make things work in your business, in your family, in your relationships, your career, your reputation, your ministry, your church, and the list goes on. You see, you and I were created to love God and to reciprocate his love back to him because the word says, God first loved us so we could then love him. An apostle Paul said in 2 Corinthians 4, verse 8, through glory and dishonor, through bad report and good report, genuine yet regarded as imposters known yet regarded as unknown dying yet we live on beaten yet we're not killed first and sorrowful but always rejoicing poor yet making many rich having nothing and yet possessing everything we can only glory in our trials when we're close to God and fulfilling our vows of faithfulness, of honesty and sincerity and purity of heart. And it is here where you can look to Jesus and see how greatly he has blessed you, even in the midst of your crying out to him in your suffering and your lack. Paul said, when we are sorrowful, yet we always rejoice. Jesus became poor so you and I could become rich and the word says that through his poverty you might become rich and if you have experienced true joy at times in your life because of growing in the knowledge of the one who desperately loves you then it is by his spirit you have known this it is by the Lord who blesses you with every spiritual blessing in Christ and there's nothing in life that will fulfill your desire for holiness and righteousness and meaning. You were created to love Jesus Christ and then you were expected to reciprocate his love back to him. It is only here where you will find true peace and happiness and it is here where you find true protection from the terror and the fears that Satan sends to torment you with. with all the doubts and the fears. With his divine protection over you, all doubts and fears must flee. It's in this place, too, where you will recognize that self-pity is a sin of pride and results because you have tried to do things on your own and it's brought God's judgment. And his judgment is designed to turn you around so that you might enter back into his divine protection and promised covenant that comes by the yes and the amens that are found only in Christ Jesus. And finally, in regards to self-pity, there is a place where people have elevated themselves to a place of judgment. And then they begin to accuse God of their plightful circumstances and trials. and this is a time for many in the church today to examine their own hearts and get their eyes off themselves and place them back on Jesus Christ who is the author and the finisher of their faith. It's a time to realize that God wants to bless his people and shower them with the riches of his glory and his providence. It's time to depart from this insidious sin of self-pity which robs so many of God's wonderful and blessed grace and provision. Self-pity produces depression and sadness and anger and bitterness and most of all poverty in the natural, but more so it produces spiritual poverty to where people become blind and cannot see that God really loves them and that he is not against them. It is their sin that he hates, the sin of doing things their own way and breaking his laws and trying to justify what they do all in his name and then expect him to bless them. People who immerse themselves in this insidious sin look for sympathy from others. And in that sympathy endeavor to find their happiness and hope and good feelings again. They depend on support and encouragement from others to feel better. And unfortunately, such dependence is saying, God, I don't need you. Your way doesn't provide me with what I need and when I need it. So they go into the enemy's camp and find what they need, just like Naomi and her husband sought to do. Just remember, self-pity causes blindness. And it is here where true gratitude cannot enter in. Thanksgiving cannot exist in such a dark place. Thanksgiving is the antidote to self-pity. And self-pity is like a weed that grows in the garden of expectation. That is, I expect things to go well for me. Or I expect that I shall not have to suffer. Or I expect things to go my way. Or how could God do this to me? Or so what's next? What can I expect to go wrong now? When in fact, Apostle Peter tells us something quite to the contrary in 1 Peter 1, verse 6. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you might have to suffer griefs and all kinds of trials. and these have come so that your faith of greater worth than gold, which perishes even through refined fire, may be proved genuine and may result in praise and glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you've not seen him, you love him. Thank God for saving you. Thank God for giving you eternal life. Thank God for giving you his Holy Spirit. Thank God for adopting you into his holy family. Thank God for his steadfast love. For his love never ceases. And dear ones, his love will never cease. It will never end because it will endure forever and ever and ever and ever. This you can count on every day of your life. Stay true to God and he will bless you immeasurably beyond what you can imagine or think.

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